Seven Sex Tips From Professional ‘Dominatrix’

The best bed tricks from those who know the most.

Feel like dominating under the covers?

Then you have reached the indicated article. The US edition of HuffPost has reached out to several professional dominatrix professionals for their most helpful and affordable advice for couples who want to add more fantasy to their sex life. Warning: no need to go for the whip.

Make a sexual wish list

“When I start working with couples, my first advice is that they set a date in which they only dedicate themselves to making a list of sexual desires. To make it easier, I recommend classifying them in three columns: green zone, yellow zone and zone red. In the green one would go everything that you are dying to try; in the yellow one, the things that are on the edge and that you would have to talk about, and the red one ( red is a great safe word , by the way) is equivalent to ‘nor of joke ‘.

Once the couple sees what options they have, a serious dialogue about consent and experimentation can begin. But don’t be surprised if one day the red zone turns green!  

Take orgasms out of the equation

 Flirt, get in tune, say dirty things, stimulate each other’s genitals if you want or avoid it altogether. Play with sexual arousal, get horny together, but no orgasms. Afterwards, Talk about what you liked and what you didn’t like, you may learn something new about yourself.

To a large extent, our sex lives are determined by the urge to reach orgasm. Much of BDSM is based on what happens when you stop making orgasms the only or the main goal of sex. It consists of experimenting and testing the mental limits of arousal and bodily response. When you intentionally eliminate orgasm from your goals, you force yourself to expand your conception of what a sexual relationship is and begin to explore uncharted territories.

Talk about sex in and out of the bedroom

“Communication is one of the most important aspects for me. It fosters trust and a sense of security, which is fundamental in every relationship. I find it very erotic to be able to talk about my desires, needs and limits, and even more erotic to know these things about my partner. When you’re in the bedroom with your partner, break the ice by asking some basic questions or even proposing a sex game of any kind.

Explore your fantasies

“When you are able to participate in a conscious and consensual way in your fantasies, your bond is strengthened. It is important not to embarrass your partner for having a fantasy, even if it is something in which you do not want to participate. Sometimes, it is enough to talk about the fantasies and not carry them out. If you decide to go ahead and realize a fantasy, be very clear about what turns you on in particular, how you would like it to unfold, and what you might need afterward. If it doesn’t turn out just as you wanted or expected, try the It is a topic as a couple, but in general, exploring your fantasies with your partner often leads to fiery encounters that reinforce your connection. 

Enjoy both the dominant and submissive roles

You may be a submissive person but you like to react aggressively. You may like to be moody (dominate and be submissive). Think carefully about what turns you on and don’t stick too closely with what you think you should do to fit into the role.

Try a remote control vibrator

“Use sex toys to add some kinkiness to your next date or visit to your favorite bar. A remote control vibrator placed on your private parts can be a great way to get your partner’s attention from across the room or from the table. Enjoy watching your partner try to order some martinis while noticing those vibes that you are controlling from a distance. It can be embarrassing and challenging, but it’s so funny to watch 

Have sex with your eyes

“Find the courage to maintain eye contact. Nothing exposes you as much as staring and seeing what is going to happen next. You would be surprised to see how intimate your bond becomes simply by allowing you to be vulnerable. Control your partner by holding her. of hair is much more effective when you look into each other’s eyes and do it slowly, well and carefully. The more considerate and attentive you are to each other, the better the shared experience will be. 

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